An Energy Crisis

I don't know what exactly is wrong with me.  I have had the most difficult time mustering any energy to write, which I actually enjoy even though no one reads.  There have been a lot of things I felt were worthy of my contemplation, but I like to validate my visceral reactions with some modicum of legitimacy and research, and that is were I lose all vitality for this endeavor. 

There are plenty of things going on:

• I continue to struggle to build a self sustaining business and this year has been particularly trying.
• I continue to adjust to constantly changing demands of fatherhood.
• I continue to attempt to be a loving husband, but struggle with my inability to provide, what I deem, to be sufficient or even equal wages to our marital endeavor. 
• I am excited about the return of football.
• I continue to battle weight, though I hope to be 200lbs by the time I turn 40, I am tired of constantly trying.
• I worry that my life is becoming nothing more than an example of mediocrity, amounting to little.
• I have reached a level of frustration with the state of my State (and even more so my county) than I have ever had before and it is breaking my heart. 
• I don't get to fish enough.
• I suck at poker, my other enjoyable hobby.
• I am not reading like I feel I should.
• I feel more isolated and alone than I have in a long time, yet I still meet from time to time people I find incredibly wonderful.  I wish I could invest more into those relationships but I can seem to do it.
• I am an introvert by temperament with a need to be public, so I have conflicting needs.  I go public and feel drained, but when I recharge I am lonely. 
• I am lamenting the lack of critical thought by groups of people that I want most to think critically.
• I am baffled by the stupidity and fear that I hear from people and find it sad that they have to live their lives in fear of progress when progress is inevitable.  And if it is not inevitable, I find that to be even more saddening.
• I am tired of getting my head bashed in by 14 year olds when I play Xbox Live.

Anyway, this probably sounds overly negative.  I guess I just needed to get it off my chest. Maybe the cathartic activity of writing will lead to more posts, a brighter demeanor and extra energy.  If I can just find enough to do it to begin with.

Comments

[Ken]

I feel you dude...glad you are in my RSS reader !